memoryeclipse:

I want a man with a Nietzsche tattoo

(via youmaybeoffended)

fystarwars:

 (by Stéfan)

drzaiusdrzaius:

“is it me or is this the sexiest apology ever? go on, konnie, apologise again! do it. do it with your mouth.”

schbank:

Yeah, wait what?

(via rule-britannia)

caitilinokay:

nolwecoxon:

giovii:

iheardtheworld:

anniecoco:

…

Liverpool, England - I’m a chav/I like the Beatles/I like tea/I like fish and chips. All of which are rather untrue.

Winnipeg - It’s not fifty below zero in winter, we don’t live in igloos and we don’t eat baby seals. Everything else you hear is probably accurate though. (Wait,…

Prior to popular belief, people from Indiana do not all live on farms, constantly eat corn, or go cow tipping often. Also, Indiana is not completely filled with cornfields, we do have actual CITIES. Oh, and we don’t marry our cousins. lmfao.

Brazil - (I’m not brazilian but anyway) Not everybody here has a great body - and a great face, we don’t go to beach all the time, people don’t have golden skin and samba all the time 

The Basque Country - We’re all nationalists, terrorrists and bomb eveything in sight because we want independence from Spain. Uh.

 South Wales, UK  - We all shag sheep.

Glasgow, Scotland - We’re all ginger, wear tartan, eat deep fried Mars bars & are constantly drunk

cheapthrillsandfrills:

youveonlygotyourselftoblame:

shenaaaaaay:

portaltothemind:

harryfuckingpotter:

dailypotter:wealldeservetodie

said sirius seriously.

why is this so funny?

funny in an American accent.

Via needylesnicky in this post

Amusement here

When I stopped laughing I bolded the parts I agree with

Everywhere you go you command attention. That’s because you are usually carrying a gun. You vie with Aries for the Most Obnoxious Human award and pick arguments in sports bars just to show everyone who’s boss.

You are the first to aid friends and family in times of need and just as quick to announce to the world how good hearted you were to offer assistance. You assume control of every situation where more than one person is gathered. In an elevator you position yourself next to the door and push the floor buttons. At the grocery store you instruct the bag boy how to pack the sack.

Your idea of a good career is any profession in which your title is longer than your business card. Leo is the sign of the grade-school teacher, TV wrestler, karaoke champ, and floating crap game organizer. Lions also make good hair stylists, actors and conga line leaders.

You don’t do solitude. Instead, you head for the nearest party, arriving fashionably late so you can sweep into the room offering your fingertips and air kisses to your loyal fans as you head to the center of the action. Your nature is so theatrical that you can’t bear the thought of being just one of the crowd and you will stand on your head or someone else’s back, to grab the spotlight.

Your home is your castle, where you rule by intimidation. You spend your evening scolding your family, yelling at the dog, and hanging up on your mother. Your temper is like a solar flare. It flashes out, singeing the ears of the hapless person who dared to disagree, then dissipates just as quickly. Because you have selective memory, you think you are calm, cool and collected and will beat the hell out of anyone who disagrees.

In a romance you have all the finesse of a sailor returning home from a twelve-month cruise. You’ll go home with anyone who has great hair. The next day, you bore your friends with tales of sexual conquest that everyone knows are lies. What you don’t know is that, secretly, everyone hopes you get eaten by a crocodile.

Your checking account serves as a clearing house between your paycheck and creditors, and you’ve filed for bankruptcy so often you’re banned from using credit cards until 2052. Your favorite game is Follow the Leader, with you at the head of the group. But, instead of Captain Courageous, you’re more like the captain of the Titanic. You never know where you are going and invariably lead everyone to disaster.

In real life, John Wayne was a Gemini. However, every role he ever played was pure Leo. Always strong, sometimes arrogant, his characters always knew just what they wanted and just how to get it. So do you.

You are lively, sincere, and elegant. Your independent nature is most contented when you are fighting for a cause, or an underdog. However, since your vices can be as large as your virtues, you need to learn to redirect some of your powerful energy. Give your attention to others versus calling it to yourself. Focus on taking time to understand more and criticize less, and not a sign in the zodiac will be able to resist you. In the meantime, anyone who wants to wrestle with the Lion will soon find out that you are still King of the Jungle.